I’m a sucker for holiday gift lists, even when they have nothing to do with my interests, or anyone I’m buying gifts for! This year, I thought I’d write up a silly one full of gifts that any lesbian would love. (Or at least that this lesbian would love… am I selfishly just posting my Christmas list online? Yeah, maybe. Still, it’s a great list :D) Sing along as you read!*
On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
12 books for queer folks: One for every month! Apparently I’m a bad lesbian and haven’t read any of this year’s best, but here are 55 to choose from!
11 Crave subscriptions: so that the lezzie in your life and all their friends can watch The L Word: Generation Q! That said… one subscription might be better so that they can have L Word nights with friends – you’d basically be giving the gift of queer community 😉 You can also subscribe to Showtime directly, or get it through Prime, but this was the best option for us.
10 cubes for packing? 10 pots for planting? 10 puppies pupping? 10 bras for sporting? 10 socks for hiking? I’ll leave this one open so that you can cater to their interests beyond being a lesbian!
9 super-gay pins: Go nuts at the Autostraddle shop! They have an extensitve pin selection: gal pal? pronouns? scissors? Check check check! They also have sweet clothes, hats, and and other accessories (yes, I’m eyeing the Bette Porter 2020 tshirt).
8 button-up tees: You may be wondering ‘is 8 too many’? But you should be asking ‘is 8 enough’?!?! Peau de Loup is awesome for many reasons, among them the fact that lots of their button-ups are named after Brooklyn 99 characters! Also, they’re Vancouver-based! No stressful customs charges for Canadian shoppers eh!
7 gifts for others: charitable donations are always a nice gift choice, and the lesbian in your life would likely appreciate one (or seven) in their name towards a queer-oriented organization. Here’s a list of LGBTQ-related charities in Canada; a couple in BC: MOSAIC and Rainbow Refugees. No doubt an intersectional charity would also be of interest – Black Lives Matter Vancouver’s community resource list may give you some good ideas, or consider one of these Canadian organizations helping Indigenous communities.
6 toques for fashion: we all know that for lesbians, toques are more
gaydar beacons accessories than something to keep you warm in winter, hence the need for so many. I always feel good shopping at 10 Tree. If six seems excessive, consider contributing to her snapback collection.
Fiiiive L Word sets: yes I know there are 6 seasons but we lesbians prefer to pretend that Season 6 didn’t happen. I guess if it *happens* to be included in the full set, that’s acceptable, siiigh.
4 boob earrings: Here you go, enjoy! Yes ok there are only 2 earrings but that equals 4 boobs, duh! Also Hinterland Empire is a really rad business with ethical, American-made clothing and accessories. They’re located in Northern California but are worth paying those pesky customs fees for.
3 top-notch toys [Warning: NSFMP (Not Safe For My Parents)]: Wet for Her makes great products specifically for lesbians. Why 3? Well… maybe she’ll require multiple parts, plus accessories. Also, the song goddammit! I had to add an extra syllable, but I’m sticking to the numbers!
2 diva cups: some lesbians menstruate; for those who do, the menstrual cup is such an awesome, economical, environmentally friendly way to go. That said, they can get lost, left at home when you need them or, after some time the silicone can get compromised, so why not get a backup?
Andddd… aaaaa… cheeky, sneaky, not leaky PEE-ZEE: Ok I definitely added some syllables here – worth it for the rhyme! This is a fun gift that can be used for a variety of purposes and by folks of various genders. I enjoy using it when camping! I like that this Pee-zee is Canadian.
Happy shopping, and happy holigays!